Dear Gideon,

It is good to hear from you again, old friend. I'm glad to hear that the path you have taken is working well for you; I hope that it continues to shape you in a positive manner. I apologize for having been so distant, sometimes one gets so caught up in the future that the past wanes from memory.

Once again I must apologize, I have been keeping my public information as private as I can, for reasons not unlike your own. I am gladdened that it was not easy for you to find me, that is reassuring. I am also glad that you persisted and found me anyway.

Things are certainly about to change, but I cannot yet gauge the wind. These are interesting times, and I feel like we must do everything possible to keep track of the flow of information; particularly who desires to know what. I can tell you this: Senator Gneisenow has been carefully monitoring the troop movements and training methods of at least two other battalions, though effectively they are now private armies. I do not who whose allegiances lie where. I have also heard whispers of a highly trained and rather secretive group, one that will likely tip the scales in Gneisenow's favor. Perhaps you know of them.

There is one other thing. I have been travelling, gathering information for myself. I stumbled upon something, just whispers right now, but unsettling whispers. There is a faction, it is not safe to say which, that is conducting ... experiments, though they are not far from torture. I hear they are looking deeply into the mind, pushing people to death and pulling them back just before it is over to see what happens. I don't know what they hope to achieve just yet.

Keep yourself safe. If you need help, do not hesitate to contact me. I have resources.

Your friend,

Theogenes

Suddenly, a knock at the door...

Below you will find the final entry of Søren Asegelv's log book. Dated more than 4 and a half years after the nuclear holocaust that ended civilization on Earth. Recovered many years later by an explorer from the Mars colony. 

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Begin log entry. 

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Day one thousand six hundred and seventy... Two. I have been alone for so long. I am loathe to open the bunker door and see what ruin may lay beyond. My food stuffs will last for another three months ---

There was a knock at the door. If I do not return to finish this log, this is my final goodbye. 

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The following was added to the log from bunker camera and audio archives. 
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Knock... knock... knock... 

Søren shows clear signs of hesitation, and the camera clearly recorded the obvious mixture of fear, joy, confusion, and apprehension that plays across his face.

The knocks come again, with the same speed and force, making them somewhat more ominous.

Knock... knock... knock... 

Søren can be seen to press the intercom button; he hesitates and releases it, only to press it again a second later.

"Hello?

Silence. 

"Hello?"

"Is KGB."

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End of log entry. 
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-N & L

Additional Perspectives

It was really no more than the echo of a whispered breath that brought him abruptly into wakefulness. Usually there was no sleep for him; the nights dragged on into days until there was no difference between them. His mind ran rampant with imagined scenarios, imagined answers to the questions that were branded into his consciousness. He had been alone for as long as he could remember, but that also posed a problem. He could not measure how much time had passed, and he did not know when he got ... where ever he was. All he knew was that it was indoors and it was massive. In truth he did not know with certainty that here was in fact inside, but there had been no rain nor wind or any other indication of weather so he simply assumed. He could not tell night from day, and all that existed above him was a distant blackness that extended into infinity. Nearer to the ground, and that term is used generously as what lay beneath his feet was just as dark and expansive at the supposed sky above him, was some source of illumination that seemingly had no origin. It simply was; dimly allowing vision in every direction and in every direction there was nothing but more of the same dim light that bled gently into the ground and sky.

He felt as if his entire existence had been within this infinity. There was no way to be sure though; especially after being awoken by a sound. The first sound he could remember experiencing. It was thrilling, and terrifying, and it pulled at something deep within him. A longing, as if there was something that he was missing terribly and yet he could not bring this feeling into a complete thought. It seemed to actively evade him.

Again the echo of a breath resonated through the emptiness and he felt a rush rise up in his body. No, he thought, that isn’t right; how could he feel it in his body when... the thought again escaped him. All around, he searched for the source of this new experience, one that he had never known in his endless time within the expanse. As usual there was nothing to be seen.

Of course there was nothing to be seen, you are just a...

He felt frustrated. It was as if his consciousness was being suppressed or contained and he could not get out. The breath came again, this time though it was stronger, pulling him into a new place of existence. He tried to resist but he found that he could not; the will of this force was overwhelming.

With a shock he found that he could remember again. He had a body again. He was no longer in the nothingness that contained him. Lying there totally still he appreciated every sensation of skin and bone and flesh that was provided to him. A warm wetness began to dampen his back, and steadily it rose. His eyes snapped open in panic and the panic turned to absolute terror when he found that he could not see. He was still confined, a box the size of a coffin. The water rose. As he screamed the water flowed into his mouth and nose. As the body began to release the consciousness that it had just gained, he began to notice a slight illumination that had no real source. It bled gently into the ground and sky.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Interesting."

The researcher was alone, so he made no attempt to stop himself from muttering the word. There was no one but the vessel and the stored consciousness with him. He made a note, and pressed the reset button. A timer started. In three minutes, the eyes would open, and there would be a new person in the body.

-L
Read Novam Mortem for more of this story.

sword words

"Hail Krass! U
Lurk, Sir Asha,
As hair lurks.
A silk Hurra!"

"Rash Lark! U is
Lor'! Rush! Ask an axis!"

"Rains rush, Oaks 'lax.
Ashlar sinks our ax."

"Aha! Six Arsons Lurk!
A Skark's insular Ox."



So, as a poem or conversation, ill admit it takes a stretch of the imagination to make sense out of this. But it becomes much cooler when you know that this was written using anagrams of my name. Each line contains exactly the letters to spell my name once. I'm proud of it, seeing as i did it by hand.

Here are some I've made for friends:

Shenlon's hall juices.
His jello Aces shun on
hills. 'N June's solace,
he cajoles on suns hill
"Hone Sho'lin! Call Jesus!"



Daybreak. Lag. When
An Aged Lark, why Be
An Ah-Awl? Be Keg Dry!
Be Day-Walker! Hang
Bra! Hang LaDyke! We
Hardly Beg, Awaken
Bad Geeky Narwhal,
Began Hydrae Walk.
Dank Algebra Whey!
Gawky Halberd? Nae!
Weakly Hang...? Beard...
Nakedly Wag Rehab.
Angry Beadle Hawk
Land,Gawk, "Rhea!? Bye..."




Rum. Rematch. A Jaw. I Jolt. He,
A Heretical Hajj Mum Wort,
A Welsh, Met Him A Jut-Jar O'r
Ramjet. Ju't-a Clear, Him Who
Mom Rut A Cartwheel Hajji
Twice Jolt A Rajah Hummer!
Helm A Raja Comet. Jut Whir
A Cheat Jar. True? Hmm, I, Jowl,
A Cajoler. Hat, Whim Jet, Rum.
Achier A Jaw. The Jolt, Mr. Mu.


-L

Sun Warm Red

     Everything was red. Actually, I suppose that nothing was red, but that was all I could see. The color of the sun through closed eyelids. One of my favorite colors, not because I like red in and of itself but rather because it is always accompanied by the pleasant sensation of sunwarmed skin. That perfect enveloping embrace that shows that the universe can love you.

     The fools I call friends were doing their usual stupidities. This time it was jumping from the second floor balcony of Chris' house into the pool below. The water sounded nice, but i was perfectly content to be warm and dry. It was a very zen place, there on the concrete. nothing to disturb me, only warmth and calm and the grit beneath my back.

     At least until my reverie was broken by a deluge of ice.

     "Agh! Faggots!"

     "Haha calm yourself, zen master. Its time you bent the forces of nature to your will and beat us in the dive contest as usual." I could hear Tyson smiling .That lopsided half grin that only his face could make. I made no move to get up and so, taking matters into his own hands, Tyson began to prod me with his big toe. I don't like feet much. I gave in.

     "Alright, alright, I'll go. What shall it be then? My trademark Jack-Knife?"

     "I think that would be in order," piped in Chris from the other side of the pool. "It is the only thing you are good at!"

     I gave him a mildly bemused look as I made my way toward the makeshift stairs we had fashioned out of chairs and tables and a math textbook. No one likes math. I had to make a bit of a leap to get up to the balcony, but I had been doing some free running and made easy work of it. Suddenly, I didn't want to go in. Overcome with one of those gut feelings that cant be explained. Not that I could say anything about it, saying that my gut felt funny would only lend itself to PMS jokes. That's about the maturity level of the people I hang out with.

     I inhaled deeply, bracing myself, and lept off the balcony. Relishing the half second of free-fall. Agonizing over the freezing water. My body hit the water, cleared a crater, bending the water around me to allow one last microsecond of sun through my closed eyelids before water cascaded back, launching itself up in a pillar of magnificent crystalline glory. I sunk to the bottom of the pool, looked up at the rays of light dancing upon the surface of the water, flickering and wavering as they made a leisurely descent, finally creating an ever-changing, undulating light show on the floor of the pool; I stayed there for an eternity, unmoving, pensive, feeling the gradual ache build up in my chest as my body began to want for air.

     When I finally surfaced, everybody was yelling.

     "Holy son of a motherless goat! Did you see that!?!"

     "Dude I know right! That was sick!"

     "Wait, what the hell did you just say? Hahaha"

     And on and on... I suppose they liked the show, but in all honest I felt like my form had been a bit off. Plus I had a headache now, probably from getting a rush of water up my nose or something. Still, it was hard to concentrate on anything. Everything suddenly seemed very surreal, almost fake.

     "Oh damn, we gotta go man, its past 6..."

     That was Matt, needing a ride home. I lingered a second, wondering how it could be Six o'clock already. Got to the pool at 12:30, spent an hour and a half tops, that would only make it 2...

     I dismissed it and walked to the car. Walking felt strange, more like i was gliding than anything. An I was moving FAST. Much faster than I should have been. Put the keys into the ignition and the diesel engine came to life with a roar. My head still hurts. The rumble of the car beneath me did not help. I put the car in gear and started down the street.

     A few minutes later I realized that I wasn't the one driving. Perhaps I was the one getting the ride. I couldn't focus long enough to figure it out. Maybe it was good that I wasn't driving, I would be dangerous. 45 minutes later we completed the 10 minute drive to my house. There were a lot of people, all rushing around, talking very excitedly. My parents and siblings always had people over, i guess they threw a party and i just forgot about it. Yeah that must have been it. Matt wasnt around anymore. The throbbing was getting worse.

     The sun room was quiet. I shut the door behind me and sat. I tried to meditate to calm myself, but something kept interrupting me.

     "Om tare tuttare --" I couldn't focus on it.

     I sat for a moment, trying to pinpoint what it was. A slight beeping. I couldn't place it. Almost as it were coming from inside my head, slow and constant, a heart beat in my consciousness.

Beep.                   Beep.                    Beep.                     Beep.                  Beep.

     I attempted to draw it out, but the more i listened to it the more severe my headache got. Another sound began to drown it out. An agonized scream that grew until it enveloped every aspect of my being. I opened my eyes and took in the room around me. It wasn't my sun room. White washed walls, a small bed, fluorescent lights, hyper-clean sterilized air. My throat hurt. I needed to stop screaming. This was all too much, and I was on the brink of passing out from exhaustion. So I did.

---

     Days went by normally. No more of the rooms transporting me, people didn't disappear and I was driving when I thought I was. Only the beeping persisted throughout. And a blessing, the headaches had gone.

---

     That beautiful warm red of sun through closed eyelids. The universes embrace. And of course, they can't just let me enjoy it for a few more minutes.

     They want me to do another dive for them. A shadow passed over my face, drops of ice rained down on me.

     "Yeah, alright, I'll go."

     Back up that tower of chairs and tables. Once again that leap to get up the balcony. The beeps were getting more frequent.

Deep breath and all seems still. The calm before the plunge.

Beep.                         Beep.                             Beep.                             Beep.

Bend my knees and leap. The feeling of wind on my body.

Beep.             Beep.             Beep.            Beep.             Beep.             Beep.

Warmth as the sun caresses my face.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Ice as the water envelopes me.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...

Darkness as the world collapses around me.

Silence.

Oblivion.

---

     Tyson couldn't take his eyes off of the monitor. The flat green line that was his friend's heart beat.

Silent tears glistened on Chris's Face.

Matt Sat rigidly by the side of his friend's body.

     The head trauma from the dive had been great, but if he had been brought in just a bit sooner, he might have lived. Those four hours had been vital.

Instead, he had slipped into a coma. Two weeks later, it ended.

Oblivion.




-L

Novam Mortem

It was the silence that woke him. Never before had he heard such  absolute silence. It was oppressive, he felt as if he was suffocating in his own mind. He felt nothing, not his pillow, nor his bed. Finally he  opened his eyes. And for the first time he felt pure terror. He could  see nothing. He must be dead, that is the only explanation. As suddenly  as lightning strikes, the memories came back to him. He was put into a  case, about the size of a coffin, and slowly he felt the water rise. He  could feel again the burning of his lungs as they cried out for air, he  could feel the pounding of his heart as he slowly drowned, and he could  feel the hopelessness as he knew he would die.
   Then he felt something. A slight dampness beneath him. Slowly it became more pronounced, his back was wet. His mind reeled with the revelation. He decided that he must still be alive and his heart leapt for joy.  Around him the water was rising, but in his ecstasy he didn’t notice  until it had enveloped him. His lungs burned for air as he inhaled the  first gulps of water, his heart pounded as he slowly began to drown, and the feeling of hopelessness engulfed him as he realized he was going to die. He could feel himself being snuffed out. A minute passed. Two. He  was no more.
    It was the silence that woke him. Never before had he heard such  absolute silence. It was enlightening, he felt as if he was suddenly  blessed with knowledge of everything. He felt nothing, at least not  physically. It was as if he could stretch out his mind and touch the  essence of the universe. Finally he opened his eyes. And for the first  time he felt pure joy. He could see nothing, but within it he could see  the mysteries of his existence. He must be dead, that is the only  explanation. As suddenly as a light being flicked on, the memories came  back to him. He was placed into a case, about the size of a small couch, and slowly he felt the water rise. He could feel again the relaxation  of his body as it prepared for what was to come, he could feel the  pounding of his heart as he realized that he would be experiencing the  greatest journey of his life, and he could feel the hopefulness as he  knew he would die.
     Then he felt something. A slight dampness beneath him. Slowly it became more pronounced, his back was wet. His mind reeled with the revelation. He decided that he must still be alive and his heart leapt for joy.  Around him the water was rising, but in his ecstasy he didn’t notice  until it had enveloped him. His body relaxed and prepared for what was  to come, his heart pounded as he realized that he would be experiencing  the greatest journey of his life , and the feeling of hopefulness  engulfed him as he realized he was going to die. He could feel himself  being released. A minute passed. Two. He was no more.
   The man glanced at the peaceful face in the container. This same face  that not eight minutes before had been contorted in terror and rage now  resembled that of a saint. He made a note, and pressed the reset button. A timer started. In three minutes, the eyes would open, and there would be a new person in the body.
-L